Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My Mom a Bitch

I am a bastard.

And being a bastard just mean 1 thing.

That my mom a bitch.

***

At the age of 17, my mother gave birth to me. And at the age of 17, my mother has lost everything in her life.

Her parents threw her away and so did her relative. And obviously her so called man left her stranded in the middle of nowhere claiming he had no knowledge of the fetus that is growing inside her belly.

At that moment, she had nothing.

I once asked her did she regret having me? And she answered me this,

" When I was neglected by my parents and my boyfriend, I know I has nothing. And I was thinking of doing an abortion. I had nothing at that time. But 9 months later, holding you in my arm, I know. God has replace the love that I had with you. Yes, I have nothing once, but having you mean I gain everything back.

And don't you dare ask me did I regret having you because that never occured in my mind even for the slightest second. "

And yeah, I never dare asked her that question ever again.

***

My mom raised me by herself. When teenage girl like her is having fun hanging around with friends, she was there at the stall working everyday. When the stall is closed, she carry on as a clerk in a tiny office and start to bake cookies in the night.

I wonder how did she get all of the strength. She never complained she was tired, hungry or even sleepy. And I never see her called in sick from the office.

And what she earn back then was barely enough for both of us.

***

My mom never marry. She said if her own parent was neglecting her own grandson then for what reason did she has to marry a stranger?

And mom did it all by herself.

She raised me, educated me. And today I am a man because of her.

***

Today is the anniversary of her death. It has been 5 years. During her last days, she never complained anything to me.

I invited her to stay with me so I can take care of her. She did move in. And we have a wonderful time together. My mom was strong and her eyesight is still perfect back then.

Then suddenly she's gone.

It was the most painful day of my life.

***

Yes, I am a bastard.

But that doesn't make my mother a bitch. Because for what she's been through and done all of her life, she is more than an angel to me.


Thanks mother, I love you.

fin.

7 comments:

mikhaelahmad said...

my mom's a bitch ni cerita pasal seekor kucing kan? kan? loljk.

inspired by whom?

ismeth said...

nk cri butang like..eh ni blog..mane ade like..so pkai je la sistem rating tu..pape pin..nice~~

Nazrin Saad said...

aku nak menulis pasal emak dan terfikir 3 ayat first. the rest just come to mind.

inspired by novel when rainbows end oleh cecilia ahern.

tp adaptasi dlm dunia malaysia.

sHieLa said...

bukan when rainbows end tu serita psl friendship and love antara alex dgn rose ke?

Nazrin Saad said...

erm, aku lg suka hbgn dia dgn anak dia dari love story dia dgn alex.

dan aku terfikir, kalau la jd kt malaysia. life dia mesti lg sucks.

izan_muslimin said...

gua mcm penah baca tajuk n jalan cite yg sebijik lbih kurg mcm ni...

tp dh lama rasanye...so xingat...

gua t'baca dlu pun sbb tajuk dia lbih kurg mcm ni...sbb bg gua kata2 tu doa...wlupun kdg2 t'ckp tanpa niat...

Nazrin Saad said...

soalan 1 : kenal mak aku?
soalan 2 : tahu mesej cerita ni?

ya. aku radikal, suka cakap bukan-bukan tapi minta faham konteks apa yang aku nak sampaikan.

minta faham. kadang-kadang bahasa kena keras baru orang baca dan dapat tangkap.

minta faham saja. minta faham.

she gave birth to me and she's there through thick and thin. mother is like no one else in the world. we cried and laughed together. sepertimana dia mengharapkan kebaikan untuk aku masakan aku berniat buruk untuk ibu.